3325. Relationship Advices For Young People: A zero-brained man

HOW TO DEAL WITH OBNOXIOUS PEOPLE IN YOUR OFFICE/DURING SOCIAL FUNCTIONS?

Feb 24, 2020

ADVICES FOR YOUNG PEOPLE: A ZERO-BRAINED MAN

In a group, you may find a critical person who wants to show off to the boss or host at the expense of others, as illustrated in the following story. After dinner, the family members left the dining table to watch TV or do their own things. My host (Mrs Wong) was still at the dining table. My wife urged me to chat with Mrs Wong post-dinner. Normally I would not do so on seeing Mr Tan, an uninvited 74-year-old employee of Mrs Wong there.

"Why are you still here?" the stout old man’s small eyes squinted at me through his thick glasses. "I am here to converse with Mrs Wong" I was not surprised at his rudeness. Mrs Wong's family members avoided him like the plaque but that suited his purpose - to gain sole attention from Mrs Wong.

"You are not an employee!" Mr Tan raised his voice when I sat down next to Mrs Wong. "You should be in the living area watching TV with the others!" I was shocked at his declaration that only employees should be present post-dinner. Dinner at the boss' residence is not a perquisite of employment for Mr Tan. My wife and I were invited as Mrs Wong treated us as family.

Mrs Wong took her eyes off her smartphone text messages and said, "He is my guest! Are you not feeling well now?" She stood and repeated the question. I kept quiet as this man was trying to provoke me again. Mr Tan took advantage as Mrs Wong would never stop an old man from sharing her delicious food. After work, he just took a ride from Mrs Wong to her house for dinner. Unless he had disappeared to watch movies during office hours. No qualms about doing that as Mrs Wong still paid him in full.

Mr Tan coughed as if he had water in his lungs. He got up saying, "I am not well. I will go home," his eyes squinted towards me and pointed his index finger in my direction. "He is a zero-brained man!"

Mrs Wong's sister said "goodbye" when Mr Tan proceeded to the main door. "Don't ever say 'goodbye'," he told her off. "Say 'see you another time!'" He ought to say "thank you" but he could not care two hoots about his lack of manners.

During a previous post-dinner chat, he tried to impress us with the numerous movies he had watched when he ought to be at work. He announced, "I watched 'Wonder Woman' 15 times". He queried us, "What makes this movie a blockbuster movie? What is its hook?" We were dumb asses. So he said, "All men want her, but one man wants her dead!".

Mrs Wong was not a movie buff but she participated as a good host ought to. I was silent as I knew he was not bothered with any movie comments from me. "You watched this movie?" he queried my knowledge about a movie that he rated highly. "Yet you cannot remember the plots!". I did not retort. Why should I entertain him?

Later, I told Mrs Wong that I do not clutter my brain with movie plots as there is a limit to what the brain can store. "Besides, Mr Tan watches some movies more than once!"

ADVICES FOR YOUNG PEOPLE 
Being 69 years old, I had interacted with a few obnoxious persons. They run you down in front of your boss or host to prove they are smarter. They love to make fun of your traits or work performances. Try to stay calm when you encounter the bad people.

In conflicts, one can either attack, escape or make peace.

For Mr Tan, I chose to "escape" as he does not want peace. I know Mrs Wong wished that I would speak up for myself sometimes as she would defend me when Mr Tan called me names. I could upset Mrs Wong if I attacked the old man. He had advised her to get rid of the scroungers (my wife and I) as we were frequently invited to Mrs Wong's dinners as she welcome us as family.

Do not create conflicts with your colleagues or family members by attacking them frequently. If you persist in having a foul mouth, you will be like Mr Tan - a person whom all "shiam" (avoid)! You will be a bitter old lonely person with no friends as you create disharmony during social gatherings.