4027. Creative Writing - Anatomy of the sentence.

Dec 15, 2019
Writing magazine  Aug 2019
Anatomy of the sentence - James McCreet

The ability to craft sentences is the basic element of good writing.
The effective writer must always identify why and how a sentence works (or doesn't).
Examples:

HAIL OF BULLETS
He ran a kitchen-help union. He rigged low pay. He had coin. He had pull. He pushed right-wing tracts. He hobnobbed with fat cats. He knew J Edgar Hover.
James Ellroy, The Cold Six Thousand

Too many short sentences can look childlike. Ellroy's percussive short sentences (all starting with 'he') create a relentless rhythm that generates low-level anxiety. Powerful effects.  The repetition of 'he' heaps layers to what we know about the character - most of it bad. He's a bad man. He's also a powerful man, which makes him dangerous. Ellroy provokes tension. Ellroy turns his literary gunshots into brutal music. 

GOING WITH THE FLOW
Going up that river was like travelling back to the earliest beginnings of the world, when vegetation rioted on the earth and the big trees were kings. An empty stream, a great silence, an impenetrable forest. The air was warm, thick, heavy, sluggish. There was no joy in the brilliance of sunshine. 
Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness 

A great sentence does not only describe an experience - it is the experience. Conrad turn his sentences about a voyage into a voyage itself.  The lst sentence is leisurely and long. The second is not grammatically a sentence at all. Its triplet of adjective-noun pairings sets is disjointed and incoherent. Why?

Narrator is dumbfounded at the scene and can't sort his thoughts or express himself. He lists breathlessly what he sees. Conrad opts for four adjectives in the next sentence, not one. The narrator is overwhelmed and so must we. The final sentence sees our storyteller grasping for something to summarise the sense. He uses this masterpiece of ambiguous paradox. Unnerving.


TRIUMP OF THE MILLER
I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive. A year ago, six months ago, I thought that I was an artist. I no longer think about it. I am.
Henry Miller, Tropic of Cancer.

Henry Miller, lived a virtually homeless life in 1930s Paris produces a unque anti-novel. Here, he expresses both not giving a toss and the glory of creation. How?
The commas and repeated 'no' of the first sentence  create a series of waves that lead to the striking contradiction of the subsequent one.  He repeats the effect again with the commas of the third sentence and another partial reversal. He's writing the loops of a roller coaster. He's encoding his triumph not only in his description of it but in the expression of it. The italics cap the effect.

LET'S TALK
All this happened, more or less. The war parts, anyway, are pretty much true. One guy I knew really was shot in Dresden for taking a teapot that wasn't his. Another guy I knew eally did threaten to have his personal enemies killed by hired gunmen after the war. And so on. I've changed all the names.
Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhosue 5

V is the master of deceptively simple prose. It's as if he's talking directly to us in his own voice. Partly, this is the halting conversational rhythms he establishes within and between sentences. How does he do it?
A combination of long and short sentences. Also how he inserts throwaway asides ('more or less,' 'anyway', 'and so on'). The repetition of colloquial 'really' and the italics that add his emphasis. The final sentence comes as an afterthought that has the punch line without a preceding joke. It's absurd, but then so is the entire story.

WAR ON PEACE
The mother and the father in their crumpled clothes and greasy hair, him flicking at the dandruff on his collar, her fiddling with her wedding ring, both twitching at the bang and the wail of a microphone being switched on, looking for all the world more the sinners than the sinned against.
David Peace, 1974

What a long sentence. At 52 words, it is twice as long as a typical long sentence and it contains a lot of information.  this long sentence is NOT rambling or unfocused. It is as focused as the seat of fear.
Peace created a sense of unease and anticipation. He does this by building momentum into a wave that doesn't break.

Note the initial repetition of 'and' and the way that clauses are joined by commas that preserve the ceaseless flow. The pronouns ('him,' 'her,' 'both') draw our attention to details within the larger scene but without giving each their own focal sentence.
 
The sentence is alive with detail and movement. Verbs - 'flicking,' 'fiddling,' 'twitching,' 'looking' - that create a sense of constant activity when in fact everyone is waiting for something to happen. Peace has described bustling activity that itself bustles with activity.

CLAUSE FOR APPLAUSE
By telling us the true facts, by sifting the little from the big, and shaping the whole so that we perceive the outline, the biographer does more to stimulate the imagination than any poet or novelist save the greatest.
Virginia Woolf, The Art of Biography. 

Why VW preface her basic point that biographers stimulate the imagination more than poets with a plethora of clauses and that dangling disclaimer at the3 end?

She summarises points made previously and add emphasis by stacking reasons ahead of her conclusion. The sentence has more force by containing everything within a single, focused whole. Its length is a rational onslaught without the possible equivocation or hesitation of full stops. That final phrase is an important truth. That is why W relegates it to the end as a kind of parenthetical ahem.

In summary, the sentence is a world in itself, but a world that operates within orbits and systems of other worlds.

Harmony is key to the cosmic order. We must ensure that every single sentence is effective. Maybe it is stunningly powerful. Maybe it is a single beat. Maybe it's self-effacingly simple. Always, it matters.

4026. Photography Tips: Transform + cropping v. Cropping only

1.  Original image of the first image in ...tiff

First two images are just cropped. No transform tool is used.

Cropped only. Colours more green and blue

Cropped only

2. Using the above original image, the same large image has been transformed to close in on the kingfisher and then cropped.
The width and height percentages have been almost identical to original image dimensions.

Transformed and then cropped

3.  The following 2 different images have been transformed to close in on the kingfisher and then cropped.  The width and height percentages have not been identical to original image dimensions.

Transformed and then cropped. Looks fatter

Transformed and then cropped. Looks fatter

CONCLUSION
 When using the transform tool, ensure that the Width and Height percentages are identical to the original images. Otherwise, you will get distorted shapes as in the last 2 images.

4025. Photography Tips. How I use the Transform Tool to get higher quality images - damselfly in Singapore

Dec 12, 2019 on using the Transform tool to get the higher quality image.

I have had described the steps taken in the blog:

https://2010vets.blogspot.com/2019/03/3464-photography-tips-small-butterfly.html

In summary:
1. Save Original image as ...tiff

2. Press Ctrl A, then Ctrl T to transform image

3. Press Crop tool. Then "Original Ratio". Crop image.
    Save it as ...tiff at 72dpi. Use the Brightness/Contrast, Shaows/Highlights, Sharpen/Smart Sharpen etc as described in the above-mentioned blog.

4. Use image in Point 3 and convert to ...jpg at 300dpi (for printing offline if required as 300dpi makes sharp images when printed) 

This blog shows the similar steps taken and compare the "Transform" image with the "Crop only" image.

Original image as ...AA.tiff

Transform and save as ...KK.tiff

.

THE USE OF THE "CROP" TOOL ONLY.

4024. INTERN*****. Is it possible to use electro-surgery for entropion surgery?

HOOK. Use some entropion footage from the following video as hook.

Case 3. An older Sharpei has acquired entropion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fr_FfVm0ltg

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Is it possible to use electro-surgery for entropion surgery in the dog?
Case studies of 4 Sharpeis and 1 Chow Chow.
Dr Sing Kong Yuen, BVMS (Glasgow),  Toa Payoh Vets, Singapore

Singapore is a city state where around 80% of the residents live in high-rise apartments.
Most dog owners have small breed dogs as pets. 

Some canine breeds are prone to suffer from Entropion which is the in-rolling of the eye-lids.


Some vets believe that electro-surgery should not be used for entropion surgery aa it causes poor wound healing as compared to a scalpel incision. I do not agree as I have used it in various surgeries when it is indicated.




What is electrosurgery and when is it used? Do some research.



Two cases of entropion surgery performed in the Chow Chow and the Chinese Sharpei produced excellent healing. These are presented here. 

Intern to read the text in the slides. Do not narrate like a bullet train.
Case 1.  An adopted older Chow Chow has severe entropion

JUST AFTER ELECTRO-SURGERY

EYES OPEN WIDER AFTER ENTROPION SURGERY

FOLLOW UP 3 YEARS LATER. THE OWNER IS PLEASED WITH THE EXCELLENT OUTCOME.

CONCLUSION

Case 2.  Chinese shar-pei puppies have entropion

http://www.bekindtopets.com/dogs/20100151Entropion_Shar_Pei_Pups_ToaPayohVets.htm

I was at the pet shop vaccinating the puppies.  The pet shop owner thought the persistent eye discharge and corneal ulcerations in his Sharpeis, for the past few weeks were due to eye infections. He used eye drops without success.  After electro-surgery, the 4  puppies had no more eye discharge (epiphora) and the corneal ulcers healed. He was able to sell the 4 puppies.

CONCLUSION
Entropion may be mis-diagnosed as eye infections. Get a veterinary examination and a veterinary surgeon who performs entropion surgery as not all vets do it. Scalpel incision or electro-surgery are both good methods to excise the exess skin strips. Usually the outcome is excellent in that there will be no more eye pain and discharge some 14 days after surgery.


Case 3. An older Sharpei has acquired entropion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fr_FfVm0ltg

4023. Entropion surgery on Chow Chow - Email query

EMAIL QUERY to Toa Payoh Vets dated Dec 6, 2019.

I wanted to ask whether you perform Entropion surgery for dogs? My dog needs to be operated. She was previously operated by Dr. X from another veterinary practice but she is unavailable (my dog has gone through 2 entropion surgeries before). She is 3 years old female chow chow. 

Would appreciate your advice on the matter.

Thank you in advance.

Best regards,

Name

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EMAIL REPLY dated Dec 7, 2019

Thank you for your email. We do entropion surgery for the Chow Chow. Please bring in the dog for examination and the history of the dog's previous entropion surgeries. Phone 6254-3326 for appointment.


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CHOW CHOW ENTROPION CASE STUDIES




https://2010vets.blogspot.com/2016/08/2906-entropion-surgery-in-adopted-3.html



FINAL VIDEO


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEIGUPUIYnc


shar-pei entropion surgery

http://www.bekindtopets.com/dogs/20100151Entropion_Shar_Pei_Pups_ToaPayohVets.htm

4022. Spaying and neutering rabbit - email query Dec 7, 2019

EMAIL QUERY to Toa Payoh Vets - Dec 6, 2019
Hi there,

We would like to spay / neuter our rabbits. 

Would we need to arrange a pre-op consultation, or would we only need to book a time for surgery?

Also, could you advise us on cost and recovery time and advice please? 

We are hoping to do this between 10 and 15 Dec if possible, as we will be travelling overseas from 16 to 25 Dec. 

Thank you!

Name

----------------------------------------------------

Dec 7, 2019

Thank you for email. The reply to your queries are as follows::

1. Castration (neuter) & anaesthetic - male cats, hamsters, rabbits. Excludes e-collar, antibiotics, painkillers  
$200 - $250 for male rabbits, depending on size.

2.  Spay female rabbits, guinea pigs. Excludes antibiotics, painkillers, Elizabeth collars. $380 - $480 depending on size

3. We don't usually require a pre-op consultation. We will examine the rabbit on the day of surgery and if they are OK, they will be operated.

4. Full recovery takes around 14 days. Most rabbits will eat the next day after operation, if given medication and confined for around 14 days esp. for female rabbits. We do provide in-patient post-op services at $20/day/rabbit, preferably for at least 3 days to monitor the rabbits' temperature and health and to clean the wounds and give medication.

5. Surgery from Dec 10 -15, 2019 is OK with us. Please phone 6254-3326 to book an appointment, preferably on weekdays.

4021. Singapore wildlife: Kesser Dart - Forewings vertical and hindwings flat. Hubner's wasp moth.

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VIDEO SCRIPT (DRAFT) FOR SHAN

SINGAPORE WILDLLIFE CONSERVATION VIDEO
SPONSORED BY TOA PAYOH VETS 

 

Purpose: To keep a record for future generations of Singaporeans

Wildlife:  A Huber's wasp moth

Location: Yio Chu Kang Crescent forest, Singapore

Date: Sat 8 October 2022, 8 AM

This moth mimics a wasp so that it will not be attacked by predators like birds and others. 

 

 

 

 

However its numbers in the Yio Chu Kang Crescent secondary forest have decreased considerably due to:

1. Loss of habitat - Contractors regularly prune the trees and cut the plants and flowers. The wildflowers like the Bidens pilosa now number a handful as contrasted to abundance during the Covid-19 pandemic years in 2020 - 2021.

2. Degradation of habitat - Contractors does thermal fogging with insecticide to control Aedes mosquito breeding as dengue fever cases have risen in Singapore. The soil is poisoned regularly, hence the wildflowers are now stunted and fewer.

3. Climate change -.warmer weather may affect its habitat vegetation. 

 

 

 

 

This video shows the sole Huber's wasp moth sipping the nectar of one of the handful of small-sized poor quality Bidens pilosa wildflower for breakfast.

Yio Chu Kang Crescent is an L-shaped road. One part has the storm water canal (above picture). The other part of the "L" has the Seletar Simpang Kiri River.

 Sponsored by Toa Payoh Vets.  Credits. For more information.

UPDATES AT:

https://2010vets.blogspot.com/2019/12/4021-singapore-wildlife-kesser-dart.html

 

TO BUY PHOTO: www.shutterstock.com/g/toapayohvets

 

 

ORIGINAL VIDEO 

 

 

 

 

 

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OTHER MATTERS:

2019 report

A Lesser Dart (Potanthus omaha omaha) was resting on a leaf with its unique skipper pose -  forewings vertical and hindwings flat

A Hubner's Wasp Moth (Amata huebneri) seen during the walk.

 

 

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8 Oct 2022 PHOTOGRAPHY TIPS - Use tripod
Hubner’s wasp moth sips nectar

Yio Chu Kang Cres forest, 8 AM, 8 Oct 2022. Bright daylight.
Canon R5, Tripod is needed to give sharp image.
AV Mode, ISO 200. F/8-11. Lens at 105MM. Take over 10 images.
Too many mosquitoes bite the photographer.

This moth was absent for over a year as contractors cut and prune plants and trees and apply insecticide fogging degrading the habitat and depriving the moth of flowers. During the 2020 – 2022 period of the Covid-19 pandemic, the Bidens pilosa flowers were abundant, but now, there are a handful of stunted ones.

The weather got hotter. Yesterday, I saw this sole moth but did not get a sharp image.

UPDATES AT:

https://2010vets.blogspot.com/2019/12/4021-singapore-wildlife-kesser-dart.html

A VIDEO IS made.

TO BUY PHOTO: www.shutterstock.com/g/toapayohvets

 

 

 

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INSTAGRAM

A Hubner’s wasp moth sips nectar from a Bidens pilosa flower in the Yio Chu Kang Cres forest, 8 AM, 8 Oct 2022. Only a handful of poor quality Bidens pilosa exist nowadays, hence this moth will be extinct in the near future.

TO BUY PHOTO: shutterstock.com/g/toapayohvets